I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
