Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
