Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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