we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
