You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
