Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
