I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
