Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
