went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
