i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
