So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
