the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
