I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
