1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
