Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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