is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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