Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Buhtt sex?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
