he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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