We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
