He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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