Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
