I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
As shirtless as possible
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
