Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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