He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
