I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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