just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
