I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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