1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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