Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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