Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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