Kiss
Puke
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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