I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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