Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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