Where did you get a picture of my penis
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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