Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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