My sheets look like a crime scene.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
