A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We have started to decorate penises.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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