How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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