That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
MIDGETS
????
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
