I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
