I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
