quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
