When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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