i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
