I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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