Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
