You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
