If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
