Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize