We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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