I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We're too hungover to prance.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
