I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
