She's JV to your varsity
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
