i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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