There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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