Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize