Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize