You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
