You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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