On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
