Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
