I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
