I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
