Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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