Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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