Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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