Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
