when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
