Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize