i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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