My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
