i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
