I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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