Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
